


Bitter on His Tongue

by Powrhug



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Future Fic, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-13
Updated: 2012-08-13
Packaged: 2017-11-12 02:23:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/485639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Powrhug/pseuds/Powrhug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>future. lonely. sad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bitter on His Tongue

**Author's Note:**

> Just a small piece that came to me as I drove a lonely stretch of blue highway in rural Kansas.

Grace was dancing in a dress of blue and stars. Always twirling, her hair in braids. She wasn't the most talented, but they laughed and clapped and even sang along if they knew the song. She was beautiful and young, with the whole world ahead of her and he loved her for that…because of that. Steve could close his eyes at any time and she'd be there, quickly turning until they were both dizzy with the memory.

Kono was always texting him and Danny. Lewd things that were funny in how shocking they were. They hid them from Chin, even though he knew she did it and insisted he wasn't a prude or anything so it didn’t matter. They'd nod and smile and delete before he could take the phone and see the proof that his baby cousin wasn't such a baby. But then she'd do something brave and fierce and they were all faced with how grown up she really was. Especially when she wore that one dress that was too short and too red with the heels that were too tall. They all wanted her then. They hid that from Chin as well. Steve was proud when he remembered the law enforcement agent she'd become, even more proud when he saw himself reflected in her actions.

Chin was different. He had been ever since…well that one day. He was quieter, even more than they thought was possible. Enough so that his laugh was shocking and sweet to their ears. Steve watched him carefully out of the corners of his eyes. Was he eating? Sleeping? He thought the answer to both was no, but he didn't ask. Afraid of the answer. But there was still no one better at finding the answers they needed, when they needed them. That wouldn’t change, that never changed.

Danny was, well, Danny. Quick on the defense, words sharp on his tongue. Steve watched him as well but for different reasons, loving the movement beneath his clothes and that way he walked with such cool, clear confidence. Steve never let himself say the words he needed to say, not even when Danny seemed the most receptive. The fear was there of "what if" and "not the right moment." But that didn't mean he didn't love, it maybe meant he loved more. And the watching kept him alive and gave him reason to keep loving.

 

~~~

The voice was too cheerful, too near. "Time to take your pills, Lieutenant Commander."

He sighed and opened his eyes, dutifully holding out his hands for pills and paper cup, "It feels like a lifetime ago."

The nurse laughed as she tidied his small room, "Taking your pills? It was only this morning."

He shook his head and thought about clarifying, but decided it didn't matter, it never did, "Yeah, that's what I meant," he said as he crumpled the cup and let it drop to the waste bin beside his bed.

Sometimes he liked to pretend they hadn't ended the way they did. That Grace didn't inexplicably fall down the hole of men and pills at an early age. They lost her long before she died, even though that itself was too young. That Kono didn't die in his arms, her short white dress staining red as her life seeped from the gunshot wound in her chest. That Danny didn't turn angry and bitter after Grace's death, leaving for a small town in some Midwestern state where Steve had heard he was deputy sheriff. Unmarried. Unhappy. Drinking himself into an early retirement or grave. And that Chin didn't turn his service revolver on himself as a final answer to voices in his own head.

"Is anyone coming to visit today?" The nurse asked just as she did at least once a week with too much hope in her eyes.

He shook his head and turned his body slightly away, toward the window and his memories.

"Maybe tomorrow." She said as she slowly closed the door.

The pills were bitter on his tongue.


End file.
